Why not liven things up a bit?

Having seen both semi-finals of the Eurovision Song Contest, I'm a bit bored at the thought of watching all the qualifying acts again tonight. Surely reality television provides us with a whole host of ideas for making things a bit more interesting. Couldn't some of the contestants be hobbled in some way and then forced fight to the death or live in a house for several weeks with hideous perverts?

Clearly this has already happened to the Albanian entry I'd sign up for pay-per-view to see them take on Iceland in a straight fight.



"When you've got a green gimp behind you, you have everything too look forward to." (Albanian proverb, loosely translated).



(Times are hard in Iceland, the bargain bridesmaid's rack at Debenham's is all we can afford.) Penny for a poor starvin' Nordic super babe mister.

But I think it would be a close-run thing against Mr Super Gypsy. Shame he didn't qualify - I don't think his threat "I'm going to make you sing like a Gypsy" went down at all well with whatever the equivalent of Daily Mail Readers are across Europe.



I voted for him.